Chinese Robe and Diamond Wall

Chinese Robe and Diamond Wall
Inside the front door...

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Mesmerized Beyond All Reason

The summer that I decided to throw caution to the wind and start living a bit; the year I decided to revert back to my youth and let loose a little (mostly legal this time!); my summer of 'fun' and a few drinks, was the year Bail graduated—it must be a daughter thing because it hit really hard...

When I was 14, I had met a guy at the city park after several of us were finished tanning at the swimming pool...he walked up with another guy and to this day I have no idea what the conversation was that afternoon...he had the kind of eyes that you drown in, the kind of eyes you worship and only read about in books...that suck you in and you hit rock bottom...Oh God, I was a goner.

If I could only begin to describe what I felt-- the heart crushing rush and the insane adoration and the hell and misery...it would take pages...

Anyway, a few year ago some of us were sitting down at the local Steakhouse perched up at a round table on high oak stools and... we'd had a several beers. It was nearing midnight and I was facing the side door of the place when it suddenly opened and a young guy walked in; light brown hair and tall with a slight build. But it was the eyes-- once he walked in he was facing directly toward me and there is no other way to say it: our eyes just locked. I was so shocked and mesmerized that I really did gasp outloud at that very instant...I think only my cop buddy heard me but I could not look away... That guy started walking towards us and staring and I thought I would never breathe again...it was THOSE kind of eyes and my God it was the most powerful, enticing look I had ever felt. He knew one of the other guys at our table and stood behind his stool making small talk, but I swear his eyes never lost their hold and I was aware that my friend was talking to me and I answered (I think), but I could absolutely NOT look away. I was totally frozen and wanted it to last forever...I think my chest and mind and throat were swirling. Totally in TRANCE. He didn't stay but for a few moments, which was probably good because if he would of sat down I don't think I could have functioned.
I will tell you one thing though...without saying a word, if he would have snapped his fingers, I think I would have walked out that door without a second thought.

And after I 'woke up' I was too embarrassed to ask my friend who he was; I know he could tell I was rattled...
But to experience that feeling again...wow. I guess I was lucky to have ever felt anything like that at all and twice in my life?! How I wish I knew who that guy was. Man, I need a fix like that right now...

Hmmmmm gotta play my trance song below while I re-read this... gotta quit thinking about this and WAKE UP!

2 comments:

Dan W Johnson said...

Maybe that stuff leaves as we get older (like I know anything)... I haven't felt that in years, but it sure is powerful when it happens, paralyzing even... and then I forget how to speak any goods. Yesterday I was thinking that I really don't believe in love at all anymore but some tiny voice inside always says,"Just maybe..." Oh well, carry on. I Google Earthed Wamego, Kansas, I guessed that's where you live from your son's (?) track meet photos. I swear on the map it could be exactly dead (?) centre of the U.S. Dan.

Dan W Johnson said...

I checked, Lebanon, KS is the dead center of the States. That's what you say to somebody when you drive past a cemetary,"That's the dead center of town." hahaha.