3 X a Charm? or The Light at the End of the Tunnel May be an Oncoming Train!

I shall not touch anything else this winter, or should I? (You have to say that in a Homer Simpson voice.)
Whatever my fingertips touch has mysteriously and maddeningly broken! The sewing machine needles were a minor irritation, but for God's sake—2 low tires on 2 different cars on the same day? (Tegan has a flat too—coincidence--I didn't transport to New Hampshire, I swear!) I had already been to Carquest 3 times today! Why do I have 2 antiques in the garage and 2 POS cars and a truck? Ok....I didn't put on my glasses when I checked the transmission fluid in the Ranger (with the bad cylinder )...and it wouldn't drive in any gear...that was a week of panic—shot transmission too? Later I read, check WHILE RUNNING in NEUTRAL, so I hustled down and poured in 1 ½ quarts and it seems fine! Then quick, take the 'pimpmobile' down for air and the battery dies halfway in the driveway. I knew it had a bad cell, but geez...just 10 more feet?! Then the other 'no-muffler' car is supposed to go to the next town (will it make it?) and it's tire was flat. Crap. Now the car-vac sucks. I mean it doesn't. Ha! And for safety's sake, I decided to check the clothes dryer tubey thing for lint and it fell to pieces in my hands so I had to replace that. The laptop blue-screened and that was a 4 hour fix. My school computer crashed and the speakers in the graphics lab. And if you want to hear somebody screech “Mother F—er” between gritted teeth while sitting inside the engine of a 64 Chevy with their feet braced against the front while trying to loosen a frozen bolt with frozen fingers on the darn thermostat-- well come right over! And the Jeepster has no battery and no topper...and the kitchen oven doesn't want to light....and the upstairs ceiling fan/light doesn't work anymore (I am pleased to say that someone else wired THAT one; not me, thank you very much!) So, I am almost afraid to touch my new (used) Chevy S10-- in fact, Brig has it and I drive the bad cylinder truck...! My ears are refusing to hear the slight noise from the ancient refrigerator.... and the cell phone went into a puddle of slush water... and the brand-new chainsaw has a slight crack in the top casing....and I thought I broke Grandma's seatbelt today and... My God...is that anti-freeze dripping onto the street? Wanna buy a used Ford?! GIVE ME A FISHING POLE AND A COW PASTURE AND SUMMER!